Turn Stress into Strength

Debbie Mandel, author of Addicted to Stress, says many women don't realize they are addicted to stress because they are not paying attention to their own needs. "Instead of helicoptering over everyone else and their happiness, it's time to helicopter over yourself and identify that pattern of [being an] overdoer at home and at work," she says. Debbie shares ways to combat stress and turn it into useful energy.

Reclaim Your Identity

Find the hidden girl within! Who were you before you became a wife, mother or colleague? What makes your heart sing? What do you enjoy doing? "You need to go back to the basics of your identity," Debbie says. Think about what you like to do and ask others what you are good at doing and write these things down. Debbie says you should ask yourself, "What is it I want to accomplish for myself instead of other people?"

Cultivate Your Sense of Fun and Humor

Reduce problems and stress to absurdity by looking at life with a sense of humor, Debbie says. Then, learn some jokes, read funny books and watch funny TV shows. "If you keep looking at 'funny,' it will become a part of you," Debbie says. "Pretend you are a detective and you've got this eye for humor. I think if you find someone who makes you laugh or smile, conjure that up [during a stressful moment], and it just breaks the perspective immediately."

Build a Healthy Body

Lift weights to lift your spirit or take an aerobics class to sweat away the stress of the day, Debbie says. "Because I am exercising and feeling fit and energetic and ridding myself of stress, I will [also] eat healthy, because my body is my temple," she says.

Reframe Your Thoughts

When people get upset, they create negative stories. Why not make your stories positive instead? "Come up with a way to create a positive story where you are the heroine, and this way you build up immunity to all this negativity," Debbie says

Learn to Become a Healthy Narcissist

You don't need to be self-obsessed to be a healthy narcissist, Debbie says. Instead, engage in good self-care, she says. "Dress to please yourself and for success," Debbie says. "Your accessories, anything about you, even the jewelry you wear—whether it is costume or it is real or it is fun—it expresses who you are, your identity to others."

By Bob Greene
Oprah Radio
November 13, 2008